We're used to making these changes in our lives and expecting immediate results. It's part of our nature, and I get it. I certainly expected results over night when I first changed my diet. Maybe I even thought I had results that weren't quite there yet. The fact is, it might take a lifetime to see positive differences in the changes we've made to ourselves. Because we really need to look at the bigger picture. What about emotional health? Environmental health? What about the full spectrum? So I'm seeing a lot of physical results in the changes I've made over the past year, and that's great. I mean, that was part of my goal, right? I wasn't necessarily even considering emotional health all that much when I started. But now I have these great physical improvements - I weigh less, can run faster, my head feels more clear (for the most part), and I want more. I want more for myself, I really do. But where do I start? Where do I go from here? This is where my trouble lies lately, and I wanted to talk about that for awhile. Forgive me for being all over the place with my thoughts - in all reality, I've been pretty unmotivated lately and moping around, and it's really put a damper on my spirits.
I feel like I'm going in a circle, around and around, in the same pattern, and I can't break free of it. It has a lot to do with the fact that I want to establish something great for myself, a way to make a living that agrees with me and is on my terms, and doesn't exploit others, just helps others. I have the urge to be an entrepreneur but do I have the guts or the wherewithal, am I intelligent or innovative enough? Millions of people want to start their own business, but very few succeed at it. And while we're at it, what is success to you? To me? Is it making six figures and owning several homes? I guess to start, maybe it's important to define what success is to you, and to me. To me, personally, success would be living a simple, happy, and modest life, that is abundant with beautiful food, free of clutter, and a large garden. I would be helping animals in every way possible, and whatever business I went into would be for the benefit of helping others thrive and feel happy. That's really all I want - a tiny house, a large garden, beautiful food, to save animals, and be kind to others. That is the definition of success for me. I don't want a luxurious life, I don't want a fancy car, I just want the bare necessities.
So I guess now that I've established what I want out of life - the real challenge comes - how do I start to get it? See, I have the same problem with other areas in my life when I start thinking about making changes, I still want instant results. For example, I look at lots of other people my age who would appear to be successful - they have full time jobs, families, a mortgage. (well - relatively speaking), and I still, year after year, feel this intense pressure to have what they have (okay not having a family, but the whole job situation) and to figure something out immediately. Why? What is with the constant comparison to others, and why is that so important - why is it such a presence in my life? Is it the way I grew up? Is it the people that I surround myself with that make me feel that way? The truth is, I realize more and more each day that we all have these feelings - it's part of the human condition - I read this really great article this morning about comparison and how it takes the joy out of life. It's so true! In many respects, the way we compare ourselves to others is nothing more than a waste of our own valuable time and energy. In some ways it can be useful, sure. But with the explosion of social media it just makes it that much more easier to fall into the trap of unhealthy comparisons and competition. Why do we spend so much time on it, why not pour our energy into a volunteer project or maybe writing a poem? Instead of me feeling upset and angry for never being able to please others or live up to their expectations of me (and while we're at it what percentage of those feelings is my own paranoia?), I can focus it on a small project that gives me a sense of accomplishment. Taking those small steps are what count, and that could lead to something better, versus getting upset because I couldn't take this giant step and accomplish everything in one try. Recently, I had been really interested in volunteering with a running race company at various races around the city, and I finally went for it and volunteered a couple weeks ago, I got $50.00 in credit to put towards future races and met some really friendly people. Sure it didn't result in a new job or anything, but it got me out there talking to people and feeling a little better. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can do small things to make us feel better and we don't have to always worry about what someone else is going to think about it, because in the end, our time is only ours, our choices are our own, and our lives belong to us. Little by little I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Small changes lead to bigger ones, and soon we begin to see what else is possible to improve.
So I guess in conclusion - this is mostly a reminder to myself - is that just because I start this amazing diet and see these wonderful physical changes, it doesn't mean that everything else will automatically change as well. It doesn't mean that all of my emotional pain and struggling will diminish. I think that those who are interested in following a raw vegan lifestyle look up to many leaders in the movement who present a "my life is amazing, all day, every day, because I went raw" perspective, and often times they don't always focus on the bad days - because let's face it, we all have bad days. So what I would like to focus on - instead of a one diet cures everything motto, is how we can focus on the small steps to make a change. Feeling depressed? Maybe you should write down your feelings, maybe you could knock on your neighbor's door and say hi. Maybe you could pet your cat or dog. Maybe you could get a sheet of paper and draw what you're feeling. Or perhaps if you're feeling overwhelmed about clutter, you could focus on one corner of one room for an hour de-cluttering. Or if you're feeling even more adventurous, call up an animal shelter and sign up to volunteer, or call your local library and see if they have any volunteer opportunities. Maybe a 10 banana smoothie isn't going to cure your depression, maybe it will, who knows. Maybe a 5k run or that Insanity workout isn't the cure you needed - it certainly wouldn't hurt, though, ;-)
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