Thurs. am

So far I've had 1 liter of water and am finishing 2 liters of citrus (tangelos, grapefruit, and lemon). I feel okay I guess. The juice is almost 900 calories and should be sufficient for the morning into the afternoon. Yet I can't help but still feel a craving for other things, like a hot piping cup of coffee and a breakfast sandwich. I am feeling satisfied but yet I'm not satisfied.. this is really tough!
I want to try and have another full day at being raw. I know it's possible, I just have a bad feeling I'm going to mess up today.
I think my body just needs to get used to these kinds of meals, and not the binge-eating of crap foods it's so used to. My stomach is still confused and wants the tempeh lettuce and tomato sandwiches and the sweet potato fries... It wants the oily, salty stir fries like I had just two days ago, I had a ginger miso stir fry at this place and it was the saltiest dish I'd tasted in a long time... Was it really worth the 5-10 min of satisfaction? No. The question is, is it ever worth it? Have I ever actually felt GOOD after eating an entire pizza? NO... I NEVER have... The sheer ecstasy that only lasts about 10 minutes then turns into this horrible guilt-ridden pain, and exhaustion and depression.. I just have to remember that. Why is it so hard to remember?


Also maybe the juice is tangier than normal - the OJ usually goes down a lot easier, but the tangelos are pretty tangy. I didn't even mean to buy them, I thought I was buying navels and then I got home and I had three 4lb bags of tangelos - oops.. They're still delicious. Just super tangy, and a little harder to go down today I think.
I really have to think about cost effective shopping on this diet. A lot of people do wholesale type situations. I'm finding myself at the store if not every day then every other day buying more and more fruit. And man it's pretty expensive. I am leaving in a few weeks, so I probably don't need to bother trying to set up a whole sale situation with any of the stores here, but I have to really think about that for the next place I go. And not to mention moving again.. UGH.. I'm starting to feel a little stressed and overwhelmed. I definitely have more things than I had when I first got to Asheville, and I don't want to get rid of anything. I have to get rid of the furniture I got, which everything was luckily all bought second-hand cheap.. Oh how I'll miss that green chair, that perfect chair.. sigh. I'm just going to look at it as.. someone else can hopefully get as much joy out of it as I have. I can share that with someone else. It makes me feel a little better.
Between the two of us, we have so much crap, plus the sweet cats. I just don't know how it's all going to fit. I may have to ship a couple boxes of things. Things... do I really need these things?

Anyway. Feeling like there is potential for a great day today, but feeling stressed still. I think a run later on will help. My stomach does feel a little acidic from all this citrus though, and wondering if I should lay off on the citrus juice for a couple days... something to ponder.